Allah-La’s “Tell Me (What’s On Your Mind)”
this song has been on repeat for the past two days.
It’s the only thing that comes to mind, when I ask myself over a thousand times, “Wtf is wrong with you?”. I cannot win this game of boredom. It seems like I’m just stuck in the same old pattern, stuck with the same people, doing the same thing. When does it end? And don’t get me wrong, I should appreciate those around me, and the things that are presented to me at this moment, but it’s not there. I have this craving of newness, whether it be a person, place, food, etc. I don’t really care at this point, just shove it in my face, PLEASE!
My repetition called life, is so dull, I think I’m becoming depressed. No longer am I the bubbly, ridiculously happy person. I just feel so hollow, and sometimes sad.. All it feel like is.. life is basically sucking the life from within me. I just need to break free from it all, and I’m eager to get started.
My birthday was this past Sunday, and looking back, while looking forward, I want to be able to say that I did amazing things while I was still young, and able. I don’t want to be tied down to obligations, and responsibilities of adulthood, just let me be. Let me wander, explore, and get myself into a bit of trouble.
I need to pull myself out of this rut.
My 23rd is in a week, and my biggest birthday gift to myself yet is… I went blond. With a few streaks of pink, and purple to keep things interesting.
I’ve never felt sooo in tune with myself. Why did I wait so long to do this!?